Friday, January 28, 2011

Day 83 of 365

Yesterday, when my angel girl made it home from school, she came home sans her purple lunch tote.  This morning, as I made her lunch I knew she would need to take an "extra" one that we had.  The "extra" one used to be Zach's when he was living here with us.   I didn't think of it as his when I grabbed it, at least not until I opened it and found a handful of lunch box notes that I had written to him at the beginning of the year.   Immediately tears filled my eyes as I held those silly notes written on bee paper with a big heart on them.  A couple of them had jokes on them, a couple were light and filled with love, and a couple were written with deep love and concern with the knowledge that he had decided to move back to Crane.  I love my son and miss him so very much.  I cried off an on for about a half hour this morning.  After he left back in September, I cried every day for weeks.  Even now, I have a tough time walking in his room and seeing his clothes.  The only consolation that I take with me is hearing that he seems to be happy.  That is all I want for each of my children, to be healthy and happy in their choices. 

The blessing I am counting today is my wonderful, growing 16 year old son, Zach.  I thank God for blessing me with him.

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