So it has been 11 days since I posted. So much for everyday! I was laying in bed this morning trying so hard to fall back asleep but I had a million thoughts circling around in my gray matter. I finally decided I better just get up and write, otherwise neither Jim nor I were going to get any sleep. Here I am!
On Friday, I was given some life altering information for which I had been waiting. I am not quite ready to share the information with the world, but I do need to write about it. Those that it really pertains to know already. This information was bittersweet. At least we had confirmation of what we knew was possible for years, but the information hurt some people. It shouldn't really, as nothing has or will change in the "big picture" and yet, it very well may for some. There are two possible roads to go down with this new information. One would be very okay and I believe would be well accepted for all involved. The other I think has the high possibility of being more destructive than the initial knowledge. Although it is ultimately my choice about whether to go down either road, the person that it changed things for most is requesting that I do. I can't really blame them. I do understand. I think that if it is the first road that leads to the path of truth, things would be okay for everyone. However if road number two is the ultimate truth, I think that the person requesting the additional information would end up being hurt beyond belief because of what lies behind door number two. Maybe I am underestimating the requesters ability to deal with what I believe would happen. Maybe I am underestimating the conscience of what lies behind door number two. I am just not sure. As the person that holds the keys to the doors, I feel like I have to honor the wishes of the person it affects the most. If I were in their shoes, I would want to know as well. The question then becomes, how do I approach the whole situation, aside from with kid gloves. Both roads knew there may come a day when I would come driving down their roads, requesting knowledge and acknowledgement. For years all involved had hoped that it wouldn't be necessary, hoping that the hub was the truth. Now what? With the holidays approaching, I am inclined to just leave it be and yet, something within me knows that isn't fair for the requester. I need some guidance on this one. Lord, my ears are open and my mouth is shut. I'm dropping my request in my "God can" this morning and hoping that you will help the opportunity present itself.